Monday, June 18, 2012

Relative Status

Last year (Fathers’ Day) I ‘said’ about how being a father is a privilege regardless of a fitting paternity approach. For which possibly depending on a child’s distinct nature, one’s parenting style could be reciprocally integral for both father and child. Thus, the basis of “the best dad” standards personally depends on every child’s recognition of it. Some children may deem their father to be the epitome of what a father should be but to expect that of someone else’s father as the basis of such commitment shouldn’t be the case. The person/s with the most if not the only right to declare that would have to be the father’s own child/ren.

My father was more than a hero to me. I may not be able to level-up to the kind of a father he was but applying my own parenting methodology that of which works well for my children comes off similarly sound for me.

That brings me to this year’s Fathers’ Day celebration… As I woke up early yesterday (Fathers’ Day) morning, just when there was this expectation how I’d possibly be treated special, I’ve realized how the regular days are spent to be what makes the whole “being a father” thing special. My kids’ early morning call for simple wants like milk, cereals, peanut butter sandwich or whatever is some sort of my “alarm clock” that awakens my paternal senses. It may sound monotonous and bothersome at times but it has become an essential part of my existence. Like a waiter perhaps but not quite as in their every quickly ‘served order’, more than gaining a service tip, there is fulfillment.

Before my 4th grade daughter goes to school, I get to prepare her breakfast and pack her school snack, comb her hair, give her some pep talk or have a light conversation about anything and make sure she’s right on-time then kiss her goodbye. At first, waking up very early was a hassle until I’ve realized the contentment of having to experience such blessing for an opportunity. With 2 kids under the current circumstance they have different schedules, as soon as I’ve sent our daughter off to school, I then prematurely ready myself for work while my wife’s turn sets off to prepare our kindergarten son… To rather save on fuel, together with my wife, I drive our son to school by 7:30am before I head off to work. That would require me to instead hit the road about 2 hours earlier than the usual. Adjustments are fundamental.

Citing some of these adaptations, it goes to show how there is no definite manner by which one assumes to be the criterion for what kind of a parent one could be. Fathers adjust either for their kids or for their own liking by which defines their level of commitment and labeling according to the concerned immediate family. For one, there are instances where a seeming neglect could actually be a forgoing step for their children’s welfare. There are also those whose basis of a good father could be that of another family’s father but would that “good father” possibly fare any better should he be in the shoes of that father he’s being compared to?

In view of all these, I’d like to wish all the best fathers more than happiness but continuity for their lifetime parental commitment… This way, they gain fulfillment while their children receive due care regardless if they appreciate it or not… Likewise I wish that realization sets in among children the essence of fatherhood that it’s not a basis for comparison nor is it just a source of provisions… There’s a very good reason why it’s considered a relationship.

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