Switching On the Sun

46 is the new 16 Not sweet 16 though... It’s more like the middle age where one either feels like he can still keep up with the young ones or he knows how it is to be young once. And from each of those sentiments, it can likewise be sorted out into different classifications and the needed balance between impulse and forethought. Much like a cross between introspection and one’s thought-of public perception leading to either refutation or acceptance, it consumes our consciousness of what transpired out of our existence over the years. I’m 46 Similarly, I ponder on the what-ifs, the how-comes, the why-nots and even the when-will-it-bes... Yes, despite of the seeming assurance of that “things-you’re-thankful-for-couldn’t-have-happened-if-you-had-it-any-other-way” sort of assumption, I do have regrets. Nonetheless however, I also have aspirations still. These two account for my quintessence as how I’d put it, I guess... Conditional on someone else’s impression, I’m either a failure o...

Like the profound essence of love, this is the previous post, Stop The Hate ’s continuation... A ‘Part 2’ if you will... a sequel, a spin-off, an extension, a supplement, an annex, a growth, a reason, a portion, a plot, a subplot or anything in between, a story, the “spreading” of it and everything else... It could as well be a “prequel”. A “prequel” since ‘love’ has always been the beginning of everything. We’re all here because of love. No matter what and how our coming-into-being’s circumstance maybe, we’re here for a reason . Love is a purpose. To love and be loved is our quintessential objective. An unending affair supposedly, considering letting go is likewise a manifestation of love. Love for one’s self is a primal requisite. Thus, don’t be too hard on yourself and others... Similarly, life’s lessons are love essentials. Love endures. Along the way though, there’ll be trials and heartaches for one to possibly feel the opposite. Hate is as potent in dictating how you’d most...

Among Star Wars fans, you'd know that famous line as from that of Darth Vader... It's similarly the same among fathers who have to fight for their rights over their children; not as "Darth Vader" though, but against "Dark Invader". Yet how "dark" could that "invader" be for a father to sacrifice almost everything including giving up the chance to be there for his kids? In a way, it's "Star Wars" when opposing sides respectively claim they're the "star" (of their side of the story) in their custody battle; usually at the expense of who they depict as the "antagonist" as if to justify their act as the right one and 'them' to be the chosen one; perhaps like Anakin who has gone to the dark side... "Anakin'ng pating!!" Have they even asked or considered as to whose expense is it actually; the feelings of the children corresponding with the emotional and mental implications as...

Life Begins at 40; so they say. Perhaps for others, after all the years they’ve been accountable for and committed to something else as much as they've been absorbed by ‘self-establishment’ and fulfillment, life at 40 is a manifestation of having gone full-circle. I guess a new life or meaning to it is it for me or perchance a moment of realization. I’ve just realized that 40 couldn’t be the points I could be scoring in basketball after playing the game quite recently. I suppose 40 is the combined number of aching bones and muscles I felt afterwards. The timeliest awareness though was upon leaving the court. From the gym we played on just right across the street is a familiar image. As if it was really reminding me of the many season changes before me, there was a recollection-of-memories; a prominent name stood there calling: Mario’s We just had dinner there a few nights back and have been acquainted with Mario’s 40 th year. Back in the day, along Session Road where i...

My son getting snatched by a big spider woke me up from such a bad dream this morning. What it meant kept me wondering and somehow worried. Lately, dreams seem to be foretelling something I should be concerned about. Just the other night, I dreamt of having a short (life) term left due to brain cancer. Brushing it off was rather manifested until a text message from my kid brother had me contemplate on a probable signification. Inadvertently, in his dream that same night, he had a long conversation with our late father who appeared poignant and emaciated apparently asking him to help me out among other things. Coincidentally, I’ve been sensing unusual physical conditions lately. Yet what I thought of was the few remaining days before I turn 39. Not too long ago, I thought of the probable age I’d breathe my last – 38. Should the inevitable happen and I’m gone, I was talking my wife into (re)marrying someone who would fill the void and be involved to assume the role as husband a...

“Daaaaaaddyyyy, I’m dooooone!!” That’s my cue to washing off my son’s ass LOL! Still dependent of us, we have to be patient in cleaning up our children’s mess. It’s similarly a way to instill in them some sense of responsibility. It’s ironically an “inconvenient convenience” (if I may say) to inject values relevant to their upbringing. We somehow hope that such commitment will teach them to be as conscientious amidst some “inconvenience” in going about their activities without disregard for uprightness. If there was an “upright” thing from one father last night, it was his right hand’s upped middle finger before his kid. We were about to go through an intersection when a speeding black Honda Civic flickered it’s headlights to signal its intention to go ahead before we proceed. After braking to a halt, I defensively let them passed despite already having the advantage for a right of way. It stopped right in front of us for the young driver to flail a “dirty finger” on me. Goo...

Have you even thought of the number 5’s 4-lettered figure when spelled is the only (base ten) number-in-words that is as chronological as that? “One” and “two” are 3-letter words that do not sequentially tag-on their corresponding digits; and so are the others. Enunciation-wise, it’s the only number logically possible to be spelled with a consequential number of letters that would have no other connotation. If 4 would be spelled “FOR”, it could mean so many things and so would “SICKS” perhaps. How would you spell “9” with an 8-letter word; go figure – “do spell the math”. And “FIVE”, at the core ironically, is outwardly indicating how it has “overwhelmed” its preceding number “IV”. In view of that, the use of “5” for a symbolic figure makes sense… As odd as this odd number, this has just been “coincidentally” written within this 5th month. It just got me concerned about this net-circulating “money bag” inaccurately indicative of “too many 5s” (5 Fridays 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays this...

With the recent and successive nature-caused blows seemingly harking back at every part of the globe as its groans of resentment, Mother Earth appears to be collecting dues. Yesterday, in observance of the Earth Hour, support and participation of a majority were an hour of some energy-saving measure. Jointly, it’s a big contribution. Compared to the collective damage she has endured all throughout however, it’s small.  Controlled by The Most High, will she be as forgiving? In general, we have been preoccupied by our own business to the point of having neglected our responsibilities to care for our home in Mother Earth. Assuming to be accepting of our shortcomings, how are we to take the dues should her charging escalate? If Japan’s deemed readiness with its technological advancements didn’t quite hold on, the concern is how it would be among the less ready. With the series of unexpected alarming natural calamities and under the contemplation of eventually experiencing the sa...

Falling on a Saturday, my daughter’s 9th birthday was rather celebrated with family. The idea of throwing a party in school would mean celebrating it on a day other than her actual birthday. It’s not much of a tight spot but neither would it be exact… Thus, Feb. 19th proved its fitting essence.  Before another year adds to my daughter’s 9 years of existence of which is a closer stage to adolescence, the thought of taking advantage of her still not into “can-I-just-celebrate-with-my-friends” sort of awkward moment was rather set into an ideal perspective. Quite simultaneous, my brother was in town for a business trip. Being the generous person that he is and as a fitting birthday treat for her niece, he delighted us with a hearty breakfast before heading back to Manila. Having planned for an intimate family get-together for lunch somewhere similarly conveying that natural warmth for an ambiance, I asked my brother to extend a bit and join us to make the celebration more jovial. I ...

Off-ih-you-cuss. That’s how it’s verbally pronounced. Just like anyone drawn into the whole brouhaha of the coming-into-picture of this 13th Zodiac sign, I also wondered of its pronunciation. I’m not much into horoscopes; it’s just that with the adjustment, or “progressing sign” should I say, I’m now an Ophiuchus. I used to be a Sagittarius. A progression? A good sign? Most of the people I’ve conversed with regarding the change of their signs aren’t so inclined into being their “new them”. I guess, with those who seemed to have relied too much on (say) marrying their spouses based on their “astrological compatibility” are now worried of “falling stars” or perhaps “seeing stars”. Who we are isn’t exactly the same as what we are. Just because you fall under the sign of Taurus doesn’t mean you possess a raging-like quality similar to that of a bull. While it’s quite fascinating to note that horoscopes most often than not are appealingly accurate, it serves to inspire rather than obli...

August 28 is a day I somehow wrote about way back. As to how the date came to be significant for me is its affirmation on how changes make quite a difference. In such case, its how by some means helped lead to maturity and how the obvious – being older (and larger), quite expectedly constrained my suppleness (LOL). Yesterday, another occasion added to its significance. A couple was wed of which they asked me to be one among their principal sponsors. It would have meant a lot even for me if I were able to attend and stand as a godfather to a wedding for the first time. What I value most though is their consideration to even regard me as godfather-worthy. There was a time (or are opportunities) when in consideration of choosing a godparent, the capacity to give a substantial gift was rather thought of more than the integrity to stand as second-parent. Obviously, I’m quite young to be the couple’s father. Also, I don’t have the means to be as liberal in giving a pricey gift. Thus...

My father would have been 83 years old today. Before leaving us almost 11 years ago, by his hospital bed in the middle of the night while everyone was soundly asleep, my mother felt his warm and tight embrace seemingly implying of finally letting go. He was 72. Naturally sad as we were, at any rate, we were consoled by the fact that he succumbed to a considered most-painful cancer (pancreatic) peacefully. Quite the opposite, just the other day, my wife’s grandaunt went through a bumpy path. A coarse course so to speak as she was among 41 passengers who chanced on their demise in the course of a bus falling off a 150-foot deep ravine. She was 57. It was tragic. Come to think of it, 57 could be the “mystified” opposite form of 72. The position of “7”, a considered lucky number, was switched. “5” when flipped vertically is “2”. 5 + 2 = 7 but “lucky number” has presumably been severed with the bigger apportionment of the now split luck seems to live up to its oddness which is “5”, ...

We were just watching some love story wherein the female lead had a painful (love) experience making it hard for her to move on. Making it worse is that her father isn’t as supportive. Then, I thought of the likelihood when my children will be in such a predicament… Those constantly updated with every article posted herein know this blog’s purpose being geared towards providing some guiding principle for my children. Knowing life span’s incalculability, the thought of leaving some sort of a legacy early on is promptly addressed. Having had my share of life’s ups and downs, only God knows when the next is. Although what we are to focus on is not much of how high or how low we get but by how we make the best out of it after timely realizing the reason for its occurrence. The pain caused by my first major heart ache one August 28 years ago was overwhelming. If there’s even a logical p oint behind it though, it’s for 2 (other) good reasons why that happened to me in the first place – ...

There are times when I just ask myself why… Though unlike a curious child whose whys are based on finding out the answer for the first time, mine’s more on the recurrence for the nth time seemingly due to stubbornness or perhaps lack of viable options. “Why am I not learning from it?” would perhaps be the exemplary question that tops it all. “Why do I still do it despite knowing its possible consequences?” could actually be answered with “why” itself - Why is temptation so enticing? It’s a question that’s instinctively asked despite having experienced the answer. As such, it rationalizes another “why” in asking as to addiction’s clout on us. Why am I going through this or that? Or perhaps, why you? Why did I even write this you may ask if your next question would be why you are even reading this nonsense (if such be the case) in the first place? It’s the same reason as gullibility that seems to make sense when we’re into it. Why is that? You could as well ask why does it has to be a...

I received a text message from a friend directly asking the essence of life. I then thought one of my purposes being to expound not so much on the query but the need to why even bother to ask such question if from our own understanding based on our individual lives we’d probably give diverse viewpoints. I could probably talk about my one role as a father being a life worth living, today being father’s day (others will be celebrating it on the 21st - See the diversity yet with 1 objective) , and in recognition entitle it with what could be a link to my wife if it’s to associate my being a dad for without her conceiving my children I wouldn’t be one… Then it occurred to me, the connection of the many lives into one account… Life is the opportunity to invest in eternity. It’s a chance wherein we are to address a purpose. Under such borrowed time, to understand the roles we portray as human beings is an essential cause in making life’s objective for a story worth all the subplots from...

As early as Sunday morning, my daughter was excitedly preparing for the next day’s swimming activity. Together with my mother, they were scheduled to go to the beach with some relatives. Whereas, I was feeling weak and weary due to unlikely body pains, still I decided to report for work. I had my condition initially confirmed by our company nurse before timing in. Unfortunately, I was rather sent home to rest. I have tonsillitis with symptoms of an impending flu. When I got back, I was surprised to find my mother and my daughter at home. Swimming was cancelled. Somehow, we were all sent home. Suddenly, I thought, what’s with today… Apparently, all anticipated excitements came to a halt. However, there must be a good reason for it. Everything happens for a reason. Possibly to ponder on how important health is for the sake of my family. And to quote Levy,    “Whatever happens in life, we should always remember to live life to the fullest ”

Last January 14, my barely-11-months son Lucas took a few steps on his own surprising even himself. Upon realizing that he was walking by his lonesome, he let out a thrilled and confirming yelp. Nevertheless, it didn’t match the amusement I felt at that moment. Priceless! It was, in a way, a walk to remember. Having read my wife’s blog on her sentiments regarding how she hates the idea of my perceived untimely demise just because we got to talk about it in view of my plan on getting another life insurance, I thought about the life I’ve so far lived and the things I’d probably miss should the inevitable happen. Seeing my son take on those steps, I thought that’s just the first step from a promising life ahead. It would certainly be reassuring if along the way, I’d constantly be there to guide my children. But then, what if the life insurance I’m contemplating on getting inopportunely serves them right… I could probably watch them from a distance (lol) . Seriously, if that “What ...