Friday, June 19, 2015

Dadbod, not BAD

We took our kids to see Jurassic World the movie considering as well how our 7-year old son is so into dinosaurs. When we got home, we were yet talking about those prehistoric creatures. At the dinner table while conversing about the movie and some of its highlights, the scene where the lead actor's role "Owen" was guiding the raptors in hunting down the "monster dinosaur" came up. It had my son agree with the leading lady's nephews' assessment of Owen as their aunt's "bad ass boyfriend"... Nevertheless, "bad ass" means cool.
From then on, I asked my son in jest, "So do you think I'm a bad-ass dad?" To which he flamboyantly replied: "Noooo!"

"What? Why not? Am I not cool enough?"

By then he thoughtfully answered back: "You are... but you're not bad. You're nice..."

"Nice?!" (pause) So I'm a 'Nice-ass' dad?" as I thought would be my composed-still come-back

"Yeah!" He said quite emphatically

Oh well... I don't know, but by being regarded as such, "nice" doesn't seem nice. Sounded like a loser actually... Then it dawned on me... Am I really like those kind of fathers not cool enough to/for their children?

My kids apparently get surprised when I tell them stories related to some "cool stuff" I used to do or have engaged in. For instance, I told them I was into martial arts back (who-knows) when, it was reluctantly believed with that "doubtful awe": "Ahh whoa! Really?"

Yes really. That's the truth however doubtful... Is it my "dadbod"? Looks like it is... Hmmm... I myself would probably doubt as well. I suppose it's human nature to most likely correlate looks with that of a fitting aura... Or perhaps, current events are similarly up to date and with more impact as to what people remember and take note of vs that of something from the past. My current "dadbod" figure isn't helping in convincing my kids that I used to be "bad ass" (modesty aside - come on, don't tell me you did not brag anything about yourself to your kids? Not at all?) Well, anyway:

  • I was a pretty-accurate 3-pointer, shooting at will... (That their Lolo, my father, had a basketball ring built in our backyard when I was about-to turn 13)
  • I used to do breakdancing (Well come on, I was a teenager back in the 80s)
  • that through some strength-vs-strength program a soldier taught me, I can do 200 push-ups in one set (Karate Kid-like story line right there)
  • I dated Marian Rivera (For real?! Nah... This isn't true)
  • I was a 3-Time Motocross Champion (Ok now I'm dreaming...)
  • etc. etc... 
"Really?!" I don't have proof... Needless to say, those moments during our time, there were no smart phones, no selfies and no social media networks to record and "show it off"... and my "dadbod" is far from validating or FITtingly emBODYing any of those claims... More so, I can't even do all of those now if only to show them and validate it... If I were a history book, I'd be judged by my cover; who'd believe my story?

But of course that's another thing I want to teach my kids, to not be judgmental.
Thus, regardless of what something or someone might look like, what's within (or perhaps what its purpose or role is) is what really matters... Quite timely, after some "buddy time" with family over lunch out on our way to our next destination, a young driver (seemingly "cool" in his sporty Chevrolet Cruze) had the guts to cut our way in as if muscling his way in showing that I shouldn't go ahead of him apparently assessing ours being " some sort of a subcompact family SUV"... Though challenging my ego, I thought I'd let it pass... He however had to insolently glance at me with this "know your place old man!" look... My ego seemed to have set its receptor to the pedal and went like VROOOOM!!

It was a one-lane road seemingly a long one waiting for an opening as cue for some "Gran'pa err Gran Turismo" action. As it reached that point, sensing I'd overtake, he sped up really fast with the obvious intention and confidence of leaving me far behind by zigzagging his way through traffic... So he wished... By then, I floored it and defensively cruised my 28 years of driving experience... The adrenaline rush flashed back memories of my "drag racing" days, so did how I managed to look back through my rear view mirror as I lost "Chevy Cruze" (by then, getting smaller and smaller) in my dust... Silently (on my mind), I was like, "Yeah! This old man just whipped your bad ass boy!"

All along during the "Cruise over Cruze", my wife and kids were "quietly taken aback". As I said sorry for putting them at risk, in unison, I heard them "Whoa, that was awesome! That was cool daddy!"

Who's the bad-ass now?!

Not me.

Just when I'm "cool dad" now, (quite off for the coming Fathers' Day) my wife posted this:

It elicited laughter and grossed out my kids (can't blame them... more like throw-up than throwback). However, it's with the idea I've injected that it's important to be confidently comfortable with who you are regardless of the different roles you'd likely assume without being intentionally offensive towards others... I don't even have to justify it as just some fun-driven family affair... (Oops I just did)

I'm old compared to what's rather considered cool among today's generation's standards. Amidst today's technological breakthrough, I'm like that old "conventional" T-Rex (gladly not extinct though) without "longer arms" to extend as a "better useful hand" compared to those "enhanced bad-ass monsters"... But after all that has been said and perhaps doubted, my kids can count on me sans the "reachable arms (make that 'rich able' arms)" even if I have to bite off someone's ego including my own if only to protect them from any kind of harm physical, emotional or otherwise... Never mind if I look like "old-school", I'd be cooler being my kids' "bud" instead of "BAD" (Bad Ass Dad)...

I'm my kids' "dadbud in dadbod" hmm... not BAD...

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY!


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