Monday, January 26, 2009

While You were Sleeping

A tête-à-tête about fidelity with my wife arouses the conversationalists in us. It sometimes boils down to an argument. Unfaithfulness isn’t an issue. However, when opposing viewpoints give justice to their disparity, it makes the initial tenderly asked question “Am I the only one for you?” ends in an irritating “Do you have another woman?” in between other nagging issues. Those questions, if defensively replied to, might extract different answers with “yes” and “no”, but it ironically means the same as far as consistency on the fact being squeezed out. Isn’t that “psychologically” nagging?

As level-headed we become, the tension calls our attention – “How is this being helpful in our relationship?” Then other questions ensue (and sometimes) only for “round two” to take place. It’s repetitive. It’s tiresome. Things like this either adds up to one’s filled-to-the-brim emotions or it serves a lesson to be learned.

Problems like this are usually resolved depending on your methodology corresponding with your personalities. Some would prefer to rather call it quits. Others will stick it out with each other. Question is will they be as tolerantly loyal?

Subsequently, a more intense question pursues – “Why do men cheat?” While there are studies by the so-called experts stating as to why, the answer really depends on the cheater based on his disposition. Yet, the one being cheated on has a considerable role as well. For all they know, they’re liable for pushing their partners to infidelity. With the fact that cheating is wrong, some are taking such notion for granted. They don’t mind being too pushy with their actions just because they have this haughty belief as their edge that their partners doesn’t have the right to negate with something unacceptable. Just because cheating isn’t justifiable, it doesn’t mean it’s not understandable.

If husbands were to cheat, even if (assuming) it’s because of the wife’s shortcomings, she wouldn’t understand. Commonly, one’s level of comprehension gets one-sided in cases wherein they feel they’re the aggrieved party.

The usual complaint I raise to my wife is her slackness resting on her commitment as a wife and as a mother (as self-attested in her blog). In a time she is expected to assume her role, indolence can’t get her up. Well, theoretically, how can she even see that if her eyes are shut. It has been deliberated on many times over and still I get to act that part. I’m not complaining over the fulfilling responsibility to do something for my daughter in tending to her going-to-school preparation. I just want my wife to be dependable enough to know and act out her commitments.

Am I getting tired to even think of leaving her or worse cheat on her? Tired? Yes. Cheat? Would it be understandable? Ok, I confess… Spicy, there were several mornings…

As I wake up every morning to do the usual routine, remember the times you conferred your commitment and for good measure even asked me to wake you up so you can do the early morning tasks as promised? Well, I did not even try to give you a budge. You could need that extra sleep for a tough day ahead besides I’m the one who gets to go to work and I might not even notice or feel sleepy for being busy… Likewise, I rather see you initiate it willingly and not as a compelling obligation. After that, with due respect to our marriage, I acted like a bachelor: I prepare and iron my clothes, I prepare my own breakfast and while eating alone I ponder on such bachelor-kind of life as I stare on an empty chair longing for wholeness… That's how I "cheated" you into believing everything's fine but not quite actually. And all that happened – while you were sleeping.

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